unworthy daughter

there is no such thing called  broken family, and i understand why the poet all years back than said blood is thicker than water. because history did proved.

 The dunya itself is imperfect- really does. Happiness also doesnt bring along the perfection.

to define how happiness; it was like sleeping in a long-cold night with mama's hand as a pillow and papa's reciting quran as lullaby.

" i wonder when is the last time i slept on papa's lap while waiting for prayers. It was long ago when i was in my childhood. And now, papa's still reciting Quran, but i'm not longer sleep on papa's lap. That's how life brought us. I am a growing old young woman  and not longer in my kindergarten life . Adult doesn't suits me well i thought. Because, i don't feel like one. 

today i was rude to babah. For the first time i raise up my voice to babah. And i crying all alone in regret for doing that. 

babah, i'm sorry. 

babah.  I'm sorry for growing up - 

i love you, and i know you do love us. I holding all your advises and wise word. Right now, all i want is babah who comfort me in my nay . I want back my wise b-ranger.

my family is my everything ,the only love that will never be replace. Your place in my heart already destined to be. No one can change the fact i am your daughter and both of you are my parents. And, i still need both of you in my days and night.

i am still a crybaby who crying a lot when i lost my pencil.
and so do when someone knocked me down.

babah, mak.
kakak need you.
im sorry for all the wrongdoing T.T

i just want to spill out what i feel. just that-

 i simply didn't chose my family. Allah did, because certainly He knows the reason. The family itself also a test to those who said " Allah is the only God, and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah "

i want to live happily even i am penniless. As long as i have my family , nothing will take away my happiness. "

even we are in a different places, we still have a tied-knot as a family. Because how far the distance bring us the love will always grow-accordingly.

allahuyusahhil3laina.